Are You an Egg or a Bird?

Are You an Egg or a Bird?

From dreams we talk to each other about reality. — Jean Toomer (student of G.I. Gurdjieff)

Illusions are a form of deception, and these distortions twist my perception of reality. When I am able to observe myself clearly from a higher state of Presence, I notice that my thoughts and actions shift around and are filled with a false sense of unity. The lower self projects and formulates pictures of myself to match what I want to be or what I want others to see. For example, I strike a pose and look like I am engaged and conscious by attentively nodding my head in conversations. I project that I am intently listening to a friend when in reality I am rehearsing what I am going to say next and not hearing their half of the conversation at all. This not only deceives me, but also my friends even if they are unaware of my sleep.

We must not let the sleep of others allow us to have the illusion that we are smart. — The Teacher

Through self-observation I have been able to watch the mechanics of the lower self and begin to separate the real from the false. Unless I see into the shadows, I can imagine and persuade myself that I am free, that I have will, and that I am able to do. I essentially walk through most of my day in the second state – waking sleep – imagining that I am fully awake and conscious. When a negative emotion surfaces, I fault others and blame external circumstances or simply tell myself that I was not actually negative but compelled to express my feelings.

The influences that increase our slavery are our illusions, and particularly the illusion that we are free. Each one of us must find in what [s]he is not free. To be free one must be conscious. — P.D. Ouspensky

Another observation that has shown me a lack of unity is related to table manners. I repeat to myself that I exhibit good etiquette and always dine with polite and proper manners. As I observe my manners when I am dining alone, I see this attitude is clearly an illusion that is far from reality. There are so many examples of imaginary picture that the lower self tries to sustain, such as the illusion of always being a kind person or a courteous driver. It does not take long to poke holes in these illusions for those who have eyes to see.

The higher centers are outside of time and space and are not subject to illusion. — Rodney Collin

Man’s illusion of self-consciousness develops from the fact that self-consciousness is man’s legitimate state. If I am under the illusion that I live in the third state and ascribe to myself the condition of self-consciousness, why would I make efforts to attain it? P.D. Ouspensky writes that, “We ascribe to ourselves many qualities we do not possess. Until we begin to understand our illusions we can never see truth.”

The reason I became a member of the School (perhaps it could also be the reason you participate in this group) is because I sensed that I was living below the level of my possibilities. Even after learning to sustain self-remembering just for a few minutes a day, I was able to see some of my illusions which kept me asleep and relegated my existence to a life at the cellular level. The truth is I am not unified no matter how many times the “I” expresses itself as though it possesses unity. At the same time, it was exciting to think that I could develop and grow into seeing myself and the world around me from a higher state.

We have to decide how we are to see man: as an egg or as a bird. And if we see him as an egg we must not ascribe to him properties of a bird. — P.D. Ouspensky

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Gates of Paradise: “At length for hatching ripe he breaks the shell,” William Blake