Imaginary Picture

Imaginary Picture

From 'A Question of Presence' by Sergio Antonio

The "Hanged Man" sees upside down.

I think we are all willing to admit that sometimes our vision is limited, subjective. Occasionally, if we are particularly honest with ourselves, we admit that we have made some mistakes. But I don't know anyone who is convinced that his or her opinions, feelings, and reasoning as a whole are totally unreliable.

But what if they are? The Fourth Way teaches that they are. We each have an imaginary picture of ourselves, a false vision of existence. Let’s think about it: if we live most of our lives in the second state, and therefore in imagination, what value can our view of the world have? And in particular, the image we have of ourselves? How much faith can we have that it is, even partially, objective?

Let us examine one of the main aspects that nourishes the imaginary picture of ourselves, chief feature. Chief feature is our emotional attitude toward ourselves. Whether it is positive or negative, it is still based on identification. The most unreal aspect of any feature is that it sees itself as unified, important. To defend this uniqueness, sense of reality, importance, we are willing to embrace any absurdity, any lie.

Each feature sees the world in a distorted way, seeing things that others do not see, because those things are not there. Power invents nonexistent challenges, fear sees nonexistent dangers. For example, I know a person who is so terrified of snakes that he doesn't enjoy a simple walk across harmless country fields. For him it is those who are not afraid who are strange, irresponsible, perhaps a little crazy. Easy for some of us to laugh at this fear. But are we sure we don't have areas where we're just as asleep? We’re so immersed in these attitudes that they are invisible to us.

Often the words that Fourth Way students use to describe how they fight against their chief features contain involuntary comedy; they betray the desire to change without changing, that is, the feature tries to work on itself:

"I'm going to get rid of this power feature, no matter what it takes."

"I'm terribly worried that I won't be able to overcome my fear feature."

"I think self-pity is the ugliest trait you can have. Why did it have to be me?"

"This damn vanity thing makes me look bad. When I get rid of it, I'll really be an advanced being."

"Yeah, I'm a bit of a drifter, but a lot people are worse."

"Sometimes I can resist my stubbornness."

"I try to control my dominance feature, but it's hard to keep all the details under control."

"I'd like to work with my nonexistence, but I can't focus on the proper method."

One of the definitions of the third state of consciousness—self remembering— is that one sees the truth about oneself.

The fragmentation into many incompatible ‘I’s, for example. The different parts clashing with each other.

Our inability to do. That what we think we did, we didn't do, it just happened.

The buffers. Even when we discover a buffer, and therefore theoretically we know that we have it, this awareness can be lost at any moment. Ouspensky reported people who, when they remembered they had a certain buffer, spoke with a certain voice; and when they were buffering their voice changed and they knew nothing about it.

If we are not in state of self-remembering, it is the machine that sees (in reality, imagines) itself. So it will ignore its own divisions and contradictions, and invent an imaginary coherence that does not exist, because to admit the brutal reality would be unbearable.

Without a prolonged observation of one's own machine from the third state we cannot know our own mechanicality. Even with the best will, we can only see "as in a mirror, darkly," using the words of St. Paul. The mirror, like the hanged man's point of view, reverses images.

What can be achieved as a result of the work, Ouspensky wrote, is that after a certain period you will be able to see yourself.

It seems a small thing. Underneath it all, we feel like we're already doing that.

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Image: 'The Hanged Man' Tarot Card