The Transformation of Negative Emotions -A New Heart Part III

The Transformation of Negative Emotions -A New Heart Part III

The non expression of negative emotions is the beginning of Conscious Love. It is the work of a lifetime, perhaps many, and slowly opens one’s heart in new and surprising ways.

In the beginning, at least for me, not expressing negative emotions more or less meant keeping my mouth shut whenever I had the urge to argue or complain. This is a very good and necessary start but by no means is it the essential point. Negativity must ultimately be transformed into something higher which, in turn, transforms us into a different kind of human being.

It is a long and slow process, with sudden flashes of realization, discovery, suffering and compassion -all lifting us to a new level of being.

The ‘magic’ for me has often appeared in the subtleties and nuances of this cornerstone of practices.

For example, I remember a sudden realization in a moment of irritation. I suddenly saw how I was silently expressing negativity, all the while feeling inwardly heroic because I was not giving voice to my irritation. I saw with great clarity that my tense, hunched posture, furrowed brow and brooding silence and aloofness were expressions of negativity that spoke just as loudly as if I had been yelling. It was both shocking and liberating. I immediately began ‘playing the role’ of William when he is not irritated. I relaxed my posture and began smiling and chatting as if nothing was bothering me. Within a matter of minutes, I suddenly ‘remembered’ that I had been negative but could not even recall why. My state had changed that quickly.

Another subtle expression of negativity that I have been prone to is teasing. It always seemed quite harmless; I would make a joke about a particular habit or pattern of someone’s, and that someone would laugh and things would go on with seemingly no harm done. It took an incredibly long time for me to see the connection; I only ever teased people about things that I considered ‘faults’. I realized that teasing is just a sugar-coated expression of negativity.

Joking in general is an area that my teacher has emphasized as a very important habit to avoid. Joking is also something I happen to be prone to and, in truth, has been one of the most difficult manifestations for me to bring under control. The lower self is easily puffed up by laughter and applause and ‘being funny’ is a characteristic that can make one popular with other people. The problem is that most joking, particularly clever sarcasm, is directed at and belittles or ridicules someone. I had a very strong and penetrating flash of conscience on one occasion where I had made a joke about a young relative. The joke got all the laughs, even from my relative, but something in his body language suddenly transported me to my own youth and I found myself ‘in his shoes’ in a very tangible sense. It was an extremely painful experience for me which took a long time to work through. However, it is this very suffering that was the agent of transformation. That type of behaviour had suddenly become impossible for me. In a word, my heart had changed.

All of these shocks and suffering accumulate as we begin to uncover the truth of ourselves through the practice of not expressing negativity. While it is true and wonderful that we can transform their energy into presence in the moment, the greatest transformation is the gradual shift in our being.

We become capable of Love.

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Image: Allegory of Peace and Justice by Pompeo Batoni